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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?